When the news of Amy Winehouse's death broke last night, one of my earliest thoughts was that I should get down to Camden Square and see what was happening. Call me ghoulish or intrusive if you like: I'm just interested in how people deal with death.
Why do we do this? Why go to Camden Square? I have no data, only my imagination, but this is how I think it works.
Place is important when dealing with death. In the first initial hit of grief, it's about being close to the person you lost. Whether that's leaving flowers at Amy's house or Diana's palace, visiting a fresh grave in a cemetery, or (if you're a Victorian) sitting beside the coffin in a catacomb, physical nearness is important. We want to hold on.
Sometimes physical nearness is impossible. When we're mourning a celebrity, we won't be invited to the funeral, and by the time there is a grave to visit (if there will be), the initial outpouring of grief is over. So when we need it, when the news of the death hits, the place they lived or died can act as a proxy for the actual body. It's becoming unusual to even have a grave: only around a quarter of British dead are now buried, so we have to become more flexible on place. Roadside memorials to those who die in traffic accidents are just one instance of this.
Ones own approach to the place is important: visiting is an act of pilgrimage, the disruption of the daily routine as an act of memory, the leaving of a token to prove the visit. I'd argue that the taking, too, is important: mediaeval pilgrims brought back badges to prove where they'd been. Now, we take photos and put them on Flickr and Facebook. I was worried I'd be intrusive, taking photos; as it turned out, almost everyone was.
But having a place that belongs to the dead is a way of coping too. Once the initial burst of grief subsides, *visiting* the dead is a way to corral grief (loss, guilt, anger... whichever emotions you have) into a discrete location, to be visited but not inhabited. It can be left.
Many different types of place can represent this memorial space. It does not need to be the grave itself. Diana's rather difficult to reach grave leaves Kensington Palace a more accessible place to remember her: I'll be visiting on 31st August, and I will bet right now, there will be huge numbers of memorials to her again this year. It's actually (and forgive me for introducing the Nazis into this, but it was in the news this week...) why destroying Rudolf Hess's grave will most likely not stop the neo-Nazi pilgrimages: the site is the important thing, not the presence of the body - and the site is already established as a place of pilgrimage.
The title, for those who are wondering, is a quote from The Canterbury Tales.
I recall arriving back in London on the day before Diana's funeral on the Eurostar having travelled overnight from Prague by train. I walked from Waterloo to Buckingham Palace and then to Kensington Palace (I must have been fitter then) in quite blistering late summer heat with my rucksack.
It was very strange. The quiet, gathered masses around Buck House and the pool of flowers was huge. But Kensington was unbelievable. The sheer scale impossible almost to recall. The smell of the flowers (isn't this when a bunch of flowers became a floral tribute?) was overwhelming and there were people weeping and wailing.
I subscribe to the idea that these deaths (and Diana was the big one) provide a focus for our own troubles and fears. The stiff upper lip is allowed to wobble if everyone is doing it. They aren't crying for Diana, or Amy Winehouse, but themselves and those they have lost.
At the time I recall feeling that the spectacle was most Unbritish. But then I was young. It makes more sense to me now.
And somewhere in the album are snaps (like what were developed and everything from film) of the floral tributes outside the British Embassy in Prague. Out there, and the Czechs do seem to have an unusual affection for the Brits, everyone kept telling me how sorry they were that she was gone. Weird. Cos I didn't know her at all.
It was honestly rather strange, and I'm not sure what anyone was doing there today (apart from me: I was definitely there in a voyeuristic capacity).
No one was crying. A few people were looking stunned. Most were taking photos frantically; there was a real sense that people wanted to record this, especially the police tape and the copper outside the house. It felt more like people wanted to prove that they'd been there than anything else.
If you've read "Let's Go to Golgotha", it was more like that than anything else I can think of.
Ha ha, Melanie's cartoon is funny. Don't you just love Ebay bargains and you know I love those fantastic lace up boots! I love the drawers. I know what you mean about libraries having them. I'm sure GP surgeries used to have something similar when everyone had paper records too. The books and pairs game are delightful. I can't resist vintage chl9&rend#3i;s books. They're just so charming xxxx
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Merci chère Professeure de me soutenir de ma conviction.Car je dis, confirme et maintient que Chewbacca est une femelle (malgré ce que dit wikipédia - plus à une erreur près)!La preuve, elle se recoiffe pendant le ralenti ! Si c'est pas une preuve ça !Et là , je me demande ce que Han Solo faisait seul avec elle pendant les longues nuits inaeesidértlrs ?! Pas étonnant qu'elle ait mal vu la venu de cette parvenue de princesse Leia (qui dit en passant aimait bcp la fonction vibreur de R2D2 !)(Désolé private joke)
He works for Ogilvy, a large advertising and PR company, and when it comes to new media, he gets it. I met him at the Vloggercon conference two years ago. I realized this morning that all this talk I
Très bon article qui retranscrit bien (quoiqu’en moins intense) ce que j’ai vécu hier soir sur le Chatrier, puisque j’ai eu la chance d’y être.Un seul regret : un public pas toujours très fair play vis àvis de Djokovic. Quoi qu’on pense du « mental », le fait de jouer avec 15000 personnes contre soi en plus de Federer ne doit pas être évident.
Thanks, yeah, that one had been apart twice already (I was practicing ) so the clips weren’t too stiff. The first time you crack a warranty sealed one open it can be a proper pig to open, the clips are really stiff but you also can’t push too hard or you could potentially break them off!
So effectively we have FPP on a regional level. Greaaaaaaaaaaaat.Effectively most votes are now pointless as certain wards will vote for a certain candidate based on teh social economic group of that area. Fail to see the advantage other than making that member supposidly 'route' for that area.Bla.
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Sig, je sais que wikipédia a mauvaise presse ici, mais voici son avis : Le Kerala (tlatsrittéranion française : Kérala) est un État du sud de l’Inde.
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That's a sharp way of thniking about it.
Mom, I would love to know what veggies and other crops can grow in a shady area. Problem is figuring out how to still be here long enough to actually start a garden of any kind.
Thanks for the video. Who is actually paying the bill for Obama's lawyers?I can't imagine lowering the bar to be one of Obama's lawyers, but they seem adept at kicking the can down the road. The "snow job" about Obama's status as a nominee was smoke and mirrors.All we can hope for in this Florida court is some common sense by the judge and perhaps he has aclear vision of the criminal serving as POTUS.
Sadece 7 metrede misin ?! Beterin beteri varmış Ya ama Beyazıt dediÄŸin yer İstanbul’un yedi tepesinden birinin üzeri deÄŸil mi? Ya sen Beyazıt’ta deÄŸilsin ya da verdiÄŸin sayı hatalı.
that ADD is just a fad and he’s not convinced my husband even has it.HELP! We need someone in our area who can help him. I have called your clinics for referrals and there is no one in the St. Louis area. Any thoughts or suhgnstions?Tgaek you!
A few day ago, he’s in Sydney soon Shingo!Full dates at Australians For Palestines, scroll down on right sidebar to ‘events in your state’.He has 3 in Sydney on September 25th and 27th.Go!
Well I guess I don't have to spend the weekend figuring this one out!
Hej! När jag har tränat med lite högre puls, tex löpning eller spinning så får jag ofta huvudvärk efteråt . Jag försöker tänka på att äta när jag har tränat och dricka ordentligt, men många gånger kommer huvudvärken ändå. Har du något tips? Tack!
Morgen! Bekommen am Wochenende Besuch und da hast du mir jetzt eine super Idee geliefert, habe dazu ganz super tolle Äpfel von der Schwiegeroma bekommen.lgSonja